Insights

September 8, 2020

You are the longest friend I’ve had. Never leaving my side and always telling me what to do. Depression!You have always been the shining star, but me, I’m the timid one.And when you felt that you hadn’t done enough damage you invited anxiety along. Toying with my emotions and playing with my mind.I begged you for a minute to let me breathe but that would have been too kind.After a long battle you brought insomnia along.Night after night ,DAMN IT depression ,why are you so strong.I’m not eating or sleeping, I don’t even feel sad…My mood takes over and I just can’t figure out who’s next.First I’m happy around my friends, then I feel dark andI wanna be alone but it’s my turn to share and I want to puke…how can I survive if I can’t tell the people I’ve known all my life the truth.Depression you shut me up….

Depression is defined as a mood disorder that causes a persistent feeling of sadness and loss of interest. There are more than 3 million cases reported yearly in the US. Depression is very common in people ages 14-60. Think about that.

Symptoms include:

Feelings of sadness

Tearfulness

Hopelessness

Short temper

Irritation

Loss of interest/ Lack of pleasure

Memory loss

Flat affect

Sleep disorders

Tiredness

Reduced appetite or weigth loss

Feelings of worthlessness

Depression is an uncomfortable topic for most. People think depression is staying in bed all day and eating junk food. Well I’m here to tell you the truth.

Depression can be happy around your friends, but never sleeping at night.

Depression can be succeeding in all areas of life but still feeling a empty.

Depression can be in a room full of people but still feeling completely alone.

Let’s change the narrative of what a depressed person looks like. Anyone can be depressed !

Have you ever been depressed and someone told you ” you woke up this morning you be grateful shouldn’t be depressed” or ” you have people who love you so there is no way you can be depressed” ?

Well I’m here to tell you that is a load of crap.

Stop telling people they can’t be depressed because of who they have around or what they have, just be a listening ear, that could change the outcome.

Have you ever been venting to your friend and they never vent back? Well to me that is a red flag.

Nobody is always okay.

Before you vent try asking your friend if they are in a headspace for you to dump on them.

If you are anything like me you think about your friend’s situation and it throws you off mentally.

There are so many mental health issues that I could have spoke about but depression is so close to my heart so I had to share.

In the black community we are NOW starting to understand and appreciate the NEED of a therapist.

P.S. Talking to a therapist does not make you crazy.. AT ALL!!

A lot of depression comes from past trauma that we never talk about. Issues that happened as a child that loved ones should have addressed but instead covered it up. So a person brings that into their adult life and a bad relationship or a failure triggers all these emotions and they find themselves spiraling downward.

I read something the other day and it was saying that we have to create a safe space for ourselves, but how exactly do you do that while battling depression?

For a very long time my room was my safe space. Then my grandfather and one of my bestfriend friends passed. That was the place I grieved for them and I didn’t sleep and when I was there I wasn’t alone. What I learned from that is that I had to be my safe space, I had to keep my mind right at all times. For some that may help but for others it won’t.

We aren’t all the same, what works for me may not work for you.

Be a friend, if someone tells you they are depressed don’t downplay their emotions.

Sometimes there are no signs but check on your loved ones. I cannot stress that enough.

Be kind to everyone because you might just make someone feel a little better.

Need to talk? Call the National Alliance On Mental Illnesses 1-800-950-6264

– Ashley Phillips